Relationships are Hard as seen in

Malcolm and Marie

by Kathia Woods

Relationships are hard, especially once you start living together and sharing trauma, as in Malcolm and Marie. John David Washington (Malcolm) and Zendaya (Marie) portray a couple coming home from a movie premiere. His premiere, what follows, is an in-depth look at the ups and downs of a relationship when two people communicate differently.

Malcolm, high off his film's response, is starved while Marie, a bit more reserved, patiently makes him stovetop macaroni and cheese.

The conversation goes from who is there and what occurred to a dreaded turn when Marie asks Malcolm a question no man wants to hear. "Malcolm, can I ask you something?" Sure "Why didn't you thank me?."

That exchange unleashed unbent resentment on Marie's part that Malcolm interprets the question as nagging. Malcolm wants to enjoy his professional win while Marie feels dismissed. After all, it's her pain and struggles that provided the backdrop for this film. She was the one that supported him by reading his rough draft and maintaining his home. Doesn't it seem fair that he should thank her? Malcolm interprets her response as her trying to start a fight because the focus wasn't on her.

The viewer has to understand that we have two different fighters here. Malcolm felt disrespected, so his instinct is to win while Marie feels unseen; she needs acknowledgment. One sharpens knives; the other opens their soul.

There is something deeper between these two individuals that will result in them either growing closer or breaking up. What many believe to be an argument about failed acknowledgment is really about being seen.

Women we are nurtures we take care of the men in our lives, often to our detriment. Marie loves Malcolm; she appreciates him for being there for her during her struggles. He was her anchor, so naturally, she feels indebted to him. Malcolm believes that Marie is happy in their arrangement. He never asks her what her needs are. Once again, two people are co-existing in a relationship, afraid to ask the hard questions.

There has been some mess made about the age difference in-between John David and Zendaya. It's irrelevant as it pertains to this film. She's a 24-year-old young woman that is very much aware of who she is. Let's also not act like most of our parents or grandparents didn't have a ten year or more age difference. None of that has anything to do with the quality of the film.

The other issue, although it's more internet furor, is the commentary concerning white critics. Two Black people in the privacy of their home review how white media interprets their work is a typical conversation to have. They tend to lump us all in together and call us the next Spike lee instead of letting that artist stand on their own two feet. We see it all the time in reviews by colleagues ignorant to a culture foreign of their own. Lastly, a profession that makes it living simple by critiquing others can't call foul when said artist pushes back.

Malcolm and Marie will not translate to everyone. If you have never been in a real adult relationship, you won't recognize these people. By real, I mean you have lived with someone, gone through hard ache with that person, loved them but not sure if that love is healthy then yes this will seem foreign to you. The essential factor here is that these two people choose to be there. Marie knows that Malcolm is a difficult man. He loved her when she didn't love herself. Malcolm knows that Marie needs reassurance, and like it or not; she's why he has a winning film.

So it takes me back to my opening statement that relationships are hard. Malcolm and Marie push back the Band-Aid and reveal the ugly stuff most of us cover up with fancy coats, red lipstick, and crooked smiles. This film doesn't hit home with many. Many are still denying their relationship or worse that they are the Malcolm to their Marie. If nothing else, it makes you ask whether you value your partner and are present for the right reasons? That's the jewel of this beautiful shot film with two strong leads and sharp dialogue by Sam Levinson.