The Ride should have stayed in the Park

Jungle Cruise by Kathia Woods

Jungle Cruise hits theaters this Friday, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and the endearing Emily Blunt. The film is meant to be reminiscent of other enjoyable adventure films like Romancing the Stone or Indiana Jones.

The plot revolves around Emily Blunt (Lily Haughton), a botanist. MacGregor Haughton, the fashionable kind, is Lilly's dedicated brother (Jack Whitehall)

She is specifically looking for a lost treasure, a plant that can aid in the treatment of ailments plaguing humanity. Naturally, she requires the assistance of a strong man in the form of Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) to help her achieve this goal.

The antagonists determined to derail their adventure are the amusing Jesse Plemons (Prince Joachim), the only one in this film who is funny, and Paul Giamatti (Nilo).

On paper, this film has all the elements to be a great fun film, especially with the addition of the Disney special effects machine, but it unfortunately lacks charm and a solid adventure.

While everyone appears to be in good shape, we don't have a compelling reason to support our dynamic trio.

A plant that heals ailments does not seem to be a strong enough reason, and the chemistry between the two leads is mediocre. Paul Giamatti, a fantastic actor, is grossly underutilized in this film; however, this isn't even the worst offense committed by Jungle Cruise.

I understand that it's a made-up action-adventure film, but it's exhausting to have to repeat how careless people are with attention to detail when it comes to South America.

The plot of the film is set in Brazil. Nothing in the film reminded me of Brazil, except for others claiming to be in Brazil and mentioning the Amazons several times. None of the natives appeared to be Brazilian, and further investigation revealed that the producers did not hire a single Brazilian actor. The Rock, who is of Samoan and Black descent and takes great pride in ensuring his culture is uplifted and accurately represented, did not show the same courtesy to Brazil.

Making the conquistadors seem out of place, given that it was the Portuguese, not Spain, who colonized Brazil, but Spanish/Portuguese same land, different strokes.

I won't even try to figure out who the tribal people were supposed to represent or what language The Rock was speaking. It's reminiscent of Blackface in the 1950s, when white actors pretended to be Native Americans.

Moving on to some of the film's better moments. Jesse Plemons, along with Jack Whitehall, were the shining lights. There is a particularly funny scene between the two veteran actors, and I honestly wish both were given more opportunities to shine. In his portrayal of the prince who deserved more screen time, Plemons, the only actor in this film who understood the assignment, reminded us of a better old school memory (Hogan's Heroes). As the brother, Jack Whitehall is equally entertaining who supports his sister's dreams because she stood by him through think and thing. Despite them having to tackle the rough jungle, he's determined to remain an English gentleman through it all.

Jungle Cruise has all the makings of a great summer movie, but it falls short, as is typical of the Rock's films. Charm and a great actress like Blunt aren't going to save this disaster ride. Make-believe stories are effective because they are founded on truth. Nobody expected the History Channel, but when it came to characterizing a region and its people, this film was downright disrespectful. It's 2021, and one can make a great fun adventure film without these tiresome and unnecessary childish jokes. The Jungle Cruise should have stayed in the park.